The Perfect Dress

J C Penny is only one circle of Hell above WalMart. I wasn’t surprised when today’s shopping trip with Mom, Gran, and Kid 2 was not fun. This weekend is the friends & family 30% off event. I love saving money but between the clothes being everywhere but the right place, people everywhere I looked, and sales people desperate for the end of their shifts, this was not a fun experience.

I joke and say that I hate shopping but I really do hate clothing shopping. It is always so depressing for me. I’m not super self-conscious about my weight until it comes to finding clothes. I am plus sized but also petite. Plus sized clothing doesn’t fit me though because the general assumption is that someone of my girth is also a giraffe. Hemming is an option except when the crotch is at my knees. Petites don’t fit well either because if you are 4’10”, you should be 90 pounds so “high waist” pants barely cover my butt cheeks. Plus sized petites is an oxymoron and I absolutely cannot find anything in a PSP size that isn’t obnoxious patterns or styles that make me look wider/shorter. “Normal” size clothing also doesn’t fit right. Too long, too tight, too big, etc. Ugh. I can wear 14s in some brands of pants but there are some that I can’t even comfortably fit in a 16. Similarly, I can wear a L in some shirts but with others, I’m lucky to fit in a 1X. When it is all one piece, size goes out the window. My top does not match my bottom. I’m a fairly easy going person that can balance body-positivity and self-deprecation well. Until I have to buy clothes. Then it is a pity-party of 1.

We hit the clearance racks upstairs first since Kid 2 doesn’t like the stuff in the juniors department. She wants everything to fit big and long on her so we had to go to the women’s department to even start to find stuff she’d look at. I don’t understand why she wants to wear stuff that is made for 70 year old women that are 100 pounds heavier than her but whatever. By random chance, I spotted a pretty off-white dress on a clearance rack. I made the mistake of picking it up. Mom decided I absolutely had to try it on. I balked because it had a $90 tag and no clearance sticker. No way am I paying $90 for a dress 5 weeks before I go on a vacation.

The lady at the register scanned it. It wasn’t on clearance but it was marked down to $50-something. I agreed to try it on despite my grumbling about it being the wrong size. It is a size 14, randomly stuck into the W’s clearance racks… someone was hoping it would still be there a week from now I think. haha

17500443_10100977393374209_450703634_oIt looks cute, see? Don’t mind the cat litter in the background or the string thingy that is poking out of the arm hole. lol It fits, but barely. There is no plunging neckline (hallelujah!) and it has a built in slip. My girls are a bit squished though. And I can’t zip it myself. How the heck do I zip this thing while on my solo cruise? The zipper is a flat solid thing so I can’t even get one of those zipper pull things off Amazon because it has nothing to attach to. My only option is getting friendly with someone near my cabin and asking them to zip me up. :/ I wonder if I can call room service and ask them to send someone to zip me up instead? I’d tip well for that. haha

Despite all of the “cons” going on with this dress, I have to say it is perfect. Despite my awkwardness in posing for pictures, I have to admit that I love this dress. I love how it feels (aside from the squishing). It hangs just right. It looks a little lumpy in the picture because I had the slip stuck in my panties. lol I feel very pretty in it and that’s what matters.

Of course, since I had a pretty new dress, I had to get shoes to match. Mom’s words, not mine. Cue another nightmare. We had to go to the shoe department anyways. I need new work shoes. My 1-year-old New Balance shoes are wearing through at the heels already. I walked through their tennis shoes shelves. Very loudly (and childish, yes) I said to Mom “I hate all of them!” I normally get my shoes at WalMart for about $20 or so with no expectation of them lasting more than a year. Department store shoes are not $20 and this last pair only lasted a year despite being a “good” brand. So yes, I did in fact hate all of them. She told me to hush and started throwing boxes of shoes at me to try on.

I finally found a pair of Nikes that weren’t awful (black with sea foam green details) that were on sale. Not much of a sale though. :/ I think they were regularly $75 and were marked down to $59.99. Mom found me dress shoes that I didn’t hate. I’m wearing them in the picture above. They are ballet slippers in a warm brown. They don’t match the dress shade-for-shade but they look good together. Gran was mad that I liked Mom’s pick of dress shoes better. Gran’s shoes matched in color perfectly but were 3″ stilettos. Nope. Kid 2 was equally mad because I told her I would never wear the shoes she picked to match my dress. They were flats but covered in white lace with a bow on the top. I’d wear heels first.

To end this nightmare, we had to get a few new bras. Its been a while since I’ve bought a new bra. It has been about a decade since I had a real bra fitting. I tried to get Kid 2 to get a bra fitting too but she refused. The deal was that we weren’t getting her new bras without the fitting so she went without any new bras. Oh well. I’m not self-conscious about taking my shirt off with another lady in the room so it was nbd. The fitting was quick and to the point. I knew I was wearing the wrong bra size. I’ve been stubbornly wearing bralettes in size XL, bras in 38D with band extenders, and avoiding underwire like the plague. Due to that, I’m having awful issues with my bras. I fall out of them and have bulges on the sides/back. I tried the online bra fitting tools on various websites last night. Following their directions, I measured myself at anywhere from a 40D to a 38G depending on the site. Ugh!

The fit specialist measured me at a 40DD, pushing a 42DD. I opted to stick to the 40 bands and keep my band extenders handy in case I need them later. She stressed that I really need to stop being such a wuss about bras and wear underwire for the support. Yeah yeah, just because I know this doesn’t make them more comfortable. *sigh* I tried the new size on and grudgingly agree that I am a solid DD now. Dammit. I swear, one day, my girls are getting a reduction. 😡 I picked up 2 expensive as hell bras on a B1G1 50% off sale and managed to find 1 single bra in the clearance section in a 40DD.

We spent way too much money today. Granted, everything was on sale/clearance (what wasn’t on sale was put back… Kid 2 was super pissed we wouldn’t buy her a $60 pair of maroon pants) and then we got an extra 30% off too. But still. 3 pairs of shoes, 1 dress, 1 pair of pants, 6 shirts, and 10 bras at a department store still ended up being a lot. I think my purchase alone (2 pairs of shoes, 1 dress, and 3 bras) was nearly $200. The bras and tennis shoes are for work so I took that from my work budget and can claim them on my taxes next year so there is at least that. This stuff better hold up longer than the typical WalMart purchases that I could have gotten for 1/3 of the price. -.-

All 6 shirts are for Kid 2. And the other pair of shoes. We struck out on pants for her. She is in an awkward size right now. Growth spurts are the pits. 😦 I still don’t understand why she needed new shoes. She has about 40 pairs of shoes. She only wears 2 of them on a regular basis. Why on Earth she holds onto the other 30-something pairs of shoes that probably don’t fit anymore is beyond me. She is growing so much and is super sensitive about it. She can’t fit into any of my or Mom’s shoes. Kid 1 can. That pisses Kid 2 off so much. She is 6″ taller than Mom and is in an 8.5/9 shoe size while the rest of us are in a 6.5/7 shoe. Even though we won’t let Kid 1 borrow our shoes (she gets them filthy and refuses to clean them or loans them to her friends), Kid 2 is unreasonable about the issue.

Mom found 7 bras for herself in the clearance department. And 1 pair of pants. She has lost about 70 pounds this year and she is slowly replacing her wardrobe so she can stop wearing tents. I made a deal with her – if she will start getting rid of her clothes that are too big, I will pay to replace her bras and panties. She donated 3 bags of clothes this week so we went bra shopping. lol I gave her 3 of my bras that I’ve never worn. I have no clue when I got them. I certainly didn’t buy them. They are 38Cs and push up bras to boot. I haven’t worn a C cup since early high school. Not my style either but they were in my drawer with tags on them still. All of Mom’s bras were from the clearance racks. Lucky her. It is a lot easier to find 36/38Cs than it is to find 40/42DD in clearance but it was still about $70 just for her bras.

To get the 30% off, we had to use the Penny’s card but I paid the bill as soon as we got home. I hate giving people money for interest rates. lol

I still don’t have dress pants or capris for my trip. I’m starting to get a bit desperate. I struck out with Mom’s pants. My own from last year are too big too. I just need to stop spending freaking money before the trip. Why is that so hard? I mean, I don’t begrudge buying Mom some bras and I’m glad I’ve lost weight since last year (down to a 14/16 from an 18/20 this time last year) but damn this sucks. I don’t even have to have capris. 1 pair of black dress pants that aren’t meant for a giraffe would be good. I’d make jeans and my beachy dresses work the rest of the time. I’m going to make 1 more attempt at a pair of dress pants before I give up and leave the dress shirts I have at home. 1 formal dress will just have to be good enough. I can eat in a different dinning hall if I have to.

Thankfully, after a stop at Sally’s and a restaurant, we went home. I am car sick, have a headache, and am super glad to be anywhere that isn’t the mall. That dress is super cute though.

❤ Dee


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