Maximum Security

I dislike a lot of things. Marshmallows. Cold weather. Birds. Creased eyeshadow. Socks with the seam on the toe tips. Clothing shopping. Roller coasters. Being sick. Peas. Red cream soda. Unnecessary rudeness. Bad lighting. NyQuil. Pencils with dull points. I can go on for 40 more lines. You get the point.

I hate very few things. Liars. Lip gloss. Thieves.

I’ve had it up to the ceiling with 2 of the 3 this week. I mentioned in a post a while back that my Lancome Cils Booster XL went missing over Christmas break during the one night that I left the house. No one knows where it went. Hmm.

It is only a bit of makeup, but this is the 3rd time makeup has gone missing since July. So when I went back to work on Tuesday, the 3rd, I started locking my bedroom door. Problem solved, or so I thought.

This seemed to work fine until the following Monday. I came home and found a key laying on the ground near my bedroom door. It was partially concealed under a rug we have that goes from the hallway into the bathroom and is adjacent to my bedroom door. Would you believe that key worked in my door? Hmm again.

I took the key and made sure everyone in the house knew I found it. I dropped it in my pen cup, fuming mad but satisfied that the problem was finally solved. I doubled checked it was there on Tuesday, just in case. All good.

On Wednesday, Mom had to unlock my door to let the neighbor in to look at my ceiling fan. We are finally getting around to fixing my light so I can stop dealing with lamps all over the place. No big deal for her to let him in my room. She was with him the whole time. But she left the door unlocked and open, knowing I’d be home a few minutes later. I had a very long work day so I came in, ate dinner, and fell asleep rather early. I didn’t check on the key.

I got home from work Thursday and the damn key is missing out of my pen cup. Are you kidding me?!

Since I don’t know if there is a 4th key floating around or someone took the opportunity on Wednesday to snatch that 3rd key back, I am out of options. I picked up a new door handle and lock today. I can officially say I know how to change locks now. It took some time because the internal slide was slightly bigger than the hole in my door. I had to carefully file the wood to open it up. But it is now changed and there are only 2 keys. One is on my key ring. One is on Mom’s key ring. I know for certain there are no other keys. I keep my keys on me at all times. Mom is very good about keeping her purse beside her so her keys should be safe. I hope.

I just can’t get over it. I don’t have concrete proof which kid is the liar and thief in this case.

In years past, Kid 1 was really bad about taking makeup from Mom’s room without permission and then forgetting to return it. It would end up on the floor and the dog would eat it. Mom lost an expensive Stila eyeliner that way a couple years ago. But, as Kid 1 has gotten older and has her own makeup, that has stopped. She isn’t above sneaking in my room to sneak back her phone after it was taken away though. However, at the time that my mascara went missing, she was half dead from a severe ear infection and could hardly get off the couch to go to the bathroom. The last thing on her mind was makeup and my makeup in particular. Were she not incredibly sick, I would blame her hands down because of past history. Sucks having a reputation as a thief…

Kid 2 has gotten crazy in the last couple years. She has always been immature for her age but she is getting way out of hand. She has been caught in so many lies lately, it is unreal. Picture the following scenario:

While I’m standing there watching her, she wads up a piece of paper and throws it on the dining room floor.

Me: “Hey, why did you just throw that down?”

Kid 2: Looks at paper on the ground. “I didn’t do it.”

Me: “I just watched you do it.”

Kid 2: Immediately screaming and forcing tears. “I didn’t do anything wrong. You just want to get me in trouble!” Throws the paper away dramatically. “There! Are you happy?”

Me: “Yes.”

Kid 2: “You make me do everything around here! You hate me.”

Me: “No, I do not hate you. You threw the paper on the ground instead of putting it in the trash can. I asked you why you did that.”

Kid 2: Screaming again. “You always criticize me. I never do anything right. I’m always such a bad kid.” Slams bedroom door, nearly decapitating her cat. Throws door open dramatically. “See what you did! You almost killed my cat because you bully me.”

Seriously. I wish I were joking. Nothing is ever her fault. She doesn’t take responsibility for anything. She thinks because she has 1 chore a day (just like Kid 1) that she “does everything” around the house. Lately, nothing comes out of her mouth that isn’t a lie or absolutely hateful. She is 13 years old. Give me a break here kid!

Before I discovered the key was missing, Mom had seen Kid 2 with a random key that wasn’t on a key chain. When asked, Kid 2 said she found it and thought it might be a spare front door key. She tried it in the front door and it didn’t fit. I came home about 30 minutes later (according to Mom) and that key had magically vanished. No where to be found.

Mom lost her temper over the invasion of my privacy finally. She tossed Kid 2’s room. Kid 2 screamed and cried and threw herself on the floor but it didn’t stop Mom’s search. Mom tore the room up. I stayed in my room, figuring that Mom needed to do this on her own. I was nearby in case things got violent. Despite Mom’s assurances that Kid 2’s tantrums will never come to it, I’m not convinced Kid 2 won’t hit Mom. I’m telling you, I will go to jail because I will beat her within an inch of her life for hitting our mother.

Mom didn’t find the key. She didn’t find my mascara either but then again, she wouldn’t have known what it was if she found it. She did find Kid 2’s iPod that went “missing” over Christmas break conveniently just when Kid 2 was getting it taken away for not cleaning her room after 3 days. That was what Kid 2 didn’t want Mom to find. We knew she had it hidden somewhere because she wasn’t nearly upset enough for us to believe her. I knew we’d catch her with it eventually.

My money is on Kid 2 being the latest makeup thief. She might not have taken the 2 pieces of ELF makeup back in the fall but I’m laying blame for the Lancome mascara base on Kid 2. So now she has no access to my room at all and no electronics. I took her hidden contraband iPod, her replacement iPod she bought with Christmas money, and her tablet. They are in the safe at work. She will not be getting them back for a long time. And now, I can leave for work without packing up all of my makeup and taking it with me. I considered it. Several times.

It is just makeup. I don’t have a ton of expensive products or exclusive items. But it is mine and I will not share them because hygiene. I think this is the sticking point for whichever one is taking the makeup, that I won’t share what I keep. They get the stuff I don’t like. They don’t get my good stuff. One of them resents that terribly apparently. But I work 40+ hours a week so that I can afford to spend $30-40 sometimes on makeup for myself. I don’t think it is too much to ask to leave my makeup alone. Kid 2 better watch her step. Mom said this morning she is going to talk to Dad about them splitting the cost of boot camp if this stuff with Kid 2 doesn’t shape up quickly. She says I’m scary when I yell. She is in for a rude awakening if it comes down to drill instructors.



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